To Feed My Woodland Bones

[A Changeling’s Tale] by Kate Garrett – Poetry Review

What makes this collection so captivating is its duality. There is the magical element; the image of the changeling: unwanted, misplaced, caught between worlds and doing its best to manage. Looking at each poem with this mirror reflects this surreal and fascinating character, the ‘merry wanderer of the night’ which so captures the imagination. But this is overlaid with the autobiographical mirror, stories of abuse and survival are transposed over the top of the mythical and both reflect each other. Reality and magic in this collection are woven together, like two eyes you can swim in, both different, both true.

A magical and unreal world is created as a backdrop for every real and traumatic moment. This leaves the reader in a state of suspense, always on the edge of horror, but soothed and kept at arms’ length by a childlike mystery. The poems ‘This Mortal Coil,’ ‘Changeling,’ and ‘An elf turns inside out for the dragon’ speak of very real human loss, isolation and despair. In the first, voice is given to the grief that ‘makes your solid shape unbearable;’ poignantly encapsulating that familiar sensation of wanting to give up; lie down and die when we are bereft. The speaker in ‘Changeling’ is ignored and alternately unliked and unloved by her mother, contrasted with the instinctive nurturing of the mare to her foal. This mother figure ripens eventually to the titular dragon picking ‘drive-thru-visit hoards’ from her teeth with the speaker’s ‘toothpick legs’ – the lair is set and strewn with bones which solidify into the starving ‘skeleton’ of this poem.

But between horrors, and even within them, the world beautifully glimmers. A woodland garden is incanted into being with purple valerium, playful duelling spiders, midnight moon temples, tentacle-waves and razor clams, will o’ the wisp and honey rain. The imagery enchants and weaves magic into the every-day, the changeling from faery walks into the human world trailing glowing beams of spells. The senses are drenched, and we drift away into this bewitching folk land. Garrett decorates it and plays dress-up with her metaphors; ‘an elf summons/ a storm/ and wears her windblown/ water evening gown’ and harvests ‘the sparkle off a slug’s back’ for ‘gemstones.’

And for me, it is this slug sparkle that stands as a major image of this collection – it is a work of transformation. And much of that transformation is just about how you look at things. These poems are of the bravery and strength of surviving – as a changeling exiled from the otherworld or as a human battered in, and exiled from, our own. The changeling is not only exchanged but changes; transformation is the essence of these poems. Darkness is transformed to swirling stars, horror to magic, trauma to birth; power and strength are seized and the elf pixie actively summons storms and songs and makes new life. The recurring motif of the crescent moon in the final poem, the woman’s symbol of growth, birth-magic and love represents the survival and change. The collection culminates with a tumbling prose paragraph of heady, breathless, hardly-daring-to-believe happiness in love, in children, in acceptance of the past and making change for the claimed future. This is the magic we can all strive for and Garrett leaves us this beautifully hopeful image of renewal. Look at the slug and see the finger gemstones.

I have no idea if my highfalutin interpretation is what the poet meant at all. Any active assertions of what these poems ‘are’ or are ‘about’ are my own thoughts, what I loved about them, and what I took from them to keep for myself. This will always be influenced by my own context.

But I loved them.

Kate Garrett’s chapbook is published by Animal Heart Press.

Crow Mother

For aunties and surrogates everywhere.

And for Reuben

Everyone and no one understands the mystery of birth. The superlative creation that any woman can do, if she wants to. Pouring living things out of her, slimy things that wriggle and scream – unlike the dry dead promises of men.

Something animal and entirely Godly. The screams and grunts a woman makes as she digs into a deep and primal place to bring forth her child are more abandoned than any that animal musters. Like dancing; primal and poetic – birthing is too. The wild circles of cries painted in the air – blended whorls of relief, pain, wonder.

This is not a Christmas story.

But a child was born.

*****

He came into the world and blinked – huge black myopic eyes. They tell me all babies are glass blue-eyed when they’re born.

He was not.

His cave-black eyes still reflected the dark safe womb and he stared down at the shadowed table – for comfort. The world is so cold, so loud, so hard. Everything hurts. His skin is as soft as insides and instead we show him edges. Horrified, he screams his way into the world and only those soft dark things – flesh, crevices, darkness comfort him against a world so sharp, so bright and green it hurts.

Mother crow heard him cry. All crows are mothers and aunts and when they hear a baby cry their breasts tug, their lower parts hurt, and it wells together to engender their desperate wailing caw.

No crow can hear a child cry without pouring out her own wail in sympathy.

*****

The little child was loved, so loved, and he was dressed in white and laid in his cradle in the garden in the shade of a great eucalyptus tree. The breeze stirred the leaves to peek through and whispered ‘oh! What a lovely child!’ And the tree jealously wrapped round its trailing tresses so it could keep the lovely child to itself. The bees loved the flowers then followed the budding glow of the child and said to each other ‘he izzz lovely’ and the flowers craned their necks to look at him. Birds flitted down to sing him lullabies.

The child dimly smelled milk and honey. Colours were bright and smudgy. In the glow, he felt better – much better. The sun was warm and soft on his little cheeks; his blankets were soft and edgeless and this new sensation of the gentle breeze and birdsong was lovely to his sightless eyes.

The bees and the trees and the craning clematis and all the flowers agreed he was beautiful, beautiful and they loved him deeply.

And in the garden, under the apple tree, the fairies felt it. They heard the talk of the flowers and the bees and trees and the birds and resolved to take this beautiful baby for their own.

*****

A woman – animal – primal – civilized – creator – walks into her garden with a book and milk; milk for her child.

The cradle is empty.

Her wail lifts and pierces the grey sky.

*****

In fairy land, the changeling child is doted on and loved. Fairies bring him milk and honey and tickle his toes. They sing to him. He is rocked in a cradle woven with dog roses and willowherb and the hawthorn fragrance soothes him on the bank by the stream. The bee sucks at the cowslip and the baby sleeps.

Are fairies wicked? Are they parts of nature? Is the bee wicked for taking the pollen from the rose? We devise romances – she is the go-between, passing love notes between rose and apple blossom until soaked in warm sun and scent, they meld together. Maybe this is like what fairies do.

Or maybe if you are left alone too long, they steal babies away to fairy land out of jealousy – like Oberon jealous of Titania’s changeling boy – and refuse to give them back.

*****

The little child had serious eyes. He awoke to find he was surrounded by ladybirds, moths and newts. He cast his dark eyes down because he remembered his milk and scented mother and she wasn’t there. Then with a crinkling of his smooth brow, like silk crumpled, he closed his eyes on flower and fairy, opened his mouth and cried.

Mother crow, black huge mother, felt his cry pierce her heart and opened her beak to wail.

Mother crow sobbed and wept at the despair of the little child. She hopped down, heavy from her high branch and crept silver-eyed towards him. She laid down her head on his tiny chest to hear him cry and nestled there, burrowed there, with her eyes closed while crystal tears moistened his cheeks and fists. She put her head on his aching heart and felt it – took it –as she nudged in.

And her own heart broke.

Hearing the fading suspiration of her last cry, the other crows flocked down from their high branches, desperate for their sister who had died for the sadness of a human baby. They set up their wail in chorus till the echo lanced the fairies and the people above fairyland, and together the crows carried the baby boy home to his mother.

Mother crow – who loves children so much she keens in despairing fellow feeling when she hears a baby cry – was carried home with the changeling child and brought out of fairy land; back to the garden.  Mother crow laid open eyed and dead upon his breast, but he slept; comforted, with his tiny arm around her wing.

Mother came out into the garden and rejoiced in the sunlight to find her beautiful child restored.