18th September
Up early but headed out late, after the commuter lull. The morning was white and limpid, flushed blue at the edges of the wide sky. The light green of new trees glows even when there is no sun upon it and makes the stomach curve upward, glad. Plover thrum on the lake like engines turning over in tense indecision and rosellas smear their beaded blood red on the branches. I creep by, trying to sidle up close enough to see them without frightening them away in ghastly animal misinterpretation. But they can read no benign intentions in our looming forms. Even the magpie that learns to recognise the human that scatters it seeds and swoops to collect them, will eat as if in spite of us. No terror outweighs the of the death scent of man.
The strange metal poles of parliament squat beyond the lake like a deformed giant spider. I think of the tercel then, where it eats its prey somewhere there, manipulated by man to scare away magpies and ducks and keep the seat of order and coal policy clean of bird shit. What its golden eyes see of the territory from the gold zenith higher than the geometrically incorporated hills – thousands of feet higher in the stillness of air above undulations of clouds and wind stratospheres. I fling myself up with the peregrine then, where the human taint is bleached out by the burning purity of nuclear white light.
Down to the lake and dawn floats on the tides. This place is wide and exposed, with its lake, rivers and tree shrouded hills in silver mist trembling away into the hot heart of the centre. An incomparable wideness that lifts off the top of the head then slams it down again with the weight of space. The lake throws the violent blue of the sky up and swells the chest and arms until the land is the sky and everything is birds flying on it, our atoms scattered on the wind of so much room. On the edge of the lake I find the first kill. A grey pigeon at the side of the manicured path on a dark smear of blood; a mess of white and grey feathers haloed around. It has a perfect hole in its stomach cavity, a gaping cave. The scolding pee-wees wing clear of its omen. I look up to the flag of parliament again, my eyes sewed to the sky like buttons straining against the bulging desire to see the peregrine. He did not come.